Her

HER

"Her" is Spike Jonze's beautiful new film starring Joaquin Phoenix and his OS (voiced by the incomperable Scarlett Johansson). They fall in love. It is not contrived. It's genuine. Set in the not so distant future, everyone is connected to their electronic devices. Our hero, Theodore, gets paid to fabricate handwritten letters, signing them from a husband, a father, a wife, a daughter. He has recently split from his wife (seen in gorgeous memory and played by the ethereal Rooney Mara) Theodore is going through a crisis of loneliness. "I liked being married, it felt comfortable". He downloads the new OS that takes your personality and creates the perfect companion. Using frighteningly simple questions "Samantha" is brought into existence. ("You asked me what my name should be, and I thought...Samantha.") She is everything this lonely soul needs and he soon finds himself falling in love with her and trying to create a real relationship with a computer program. What sounds like the basis of an Adam Sandler movie is played with such an earnest and hip (soundtrack by Arcade Fire = HIP) style that we accept this love. We accept this world as our own (not hard at all) and allow this man his love. Much of the credit goes to Spike Jonze of course for crafting such an affecting story, but a vast majority of the effect of the movie goes to Joaquin Pheonix. His everyman sensibilities, his innate likability and our need to for him to find success (despite...everything) make for a fully developed lovable Theodore. The rest of the credit? Scarlett Johansson's voice. While there are complications and heartaches and differences, Samantha and Theodore gives a love story for our time.

I saw "Her" by myself after wandering around SoHo in Manhattan by myself one friday evening. For those who are worried about me, Friday night is an impossible night for me to hang out with friends. It's either or date night or more often than not, everyone I know works a bar or restaurant on the second busiest day of the week. So in 14 degree weather, I walked from record store to thrift store to book store to comic book store to shoe store. I bought nothing. Then I stopped by an apple store. I played around with some of the airs, played a beats pill really loud, tried on headphones, then I decided to talk to my phone. I left the store and had siri take me the rest of the night. Of course this lead to me seeing "Her", sold out in union square, cancelled by a false fire alarm at lincoln center, finally realized in times square, the loneliest spot in the city.

Loneliness in a giant metropolis. Relatable.

On another note, my family cat died. Not recently. About 15 years ago. It was an ugly smelly gross cat. It almost destroyed the room where my niece or nephew will sleep very soon. She was named patch. She once rubbed up against a halogen lamp and caught fire. She survived that, lived several more years and died while I was at school. I didn't particularly like her, never really pet her and hated cleaning up after her but when she died I hopped on AIM (the way millennials interacted before Facebook) and posted about my disingenuous grief. The girls I wanted to console my fake emotions came through. Why am I telling you this? First, "Her" has an amazing phone sex scene staring Kristen Wig and a dead cat and secondly, because many of my personal motives are driven by a need to contrive emotional connections.

Not cool Jeremy.

I had to write about both the above cat story and my own experiences seeing this movie because that's what came to me. I'm not a psychologist and certainly can't diagnose myself and why it brought up guilt about a dead cat, big city existentialism and high school manipulation of woman. But I can at least get up on my soapbox here. Her brings up a lot of issues. (I could write about replacing OS with Same Sex, our addiction to technology, forced introversion and the strongest stance for AI since Blade Runner) The thing it made me think of the most was objectification of the opposite sex. I maybe having a case of transference. (Guys...this is transference)  We live in a world obsessed with image, specifically the female body. My facebook newsfeed is always filled with strong minded woman reminding men how awful we are. (Just today: This, This and This) This issue is real and it's important. So many young men treat woman as numbers. (I will admit to calling a girl an 8 just last week.) Scarlett Johansson is beautiful. Drop dead gorgeous, sexy, sultry, curvy and hot. She was in another solid movie this year: "Don Jon". In Joseph Gordon-Levitt's look at modern relationships, Ms Johansson plays a "dime" (a ten on the hot or not scale). She is withholding, manipulative and focused on making her perfect life, no matter what her mate may feel. Gordon-Levitt's Jon character finally breaks when she states that she never asks him for anything. He breaks free to CONNECT with someone. Sex has been lost to him due to porn related desensitization. He moves on, away from the image, forward to the human being. (Continuing my existential viewing habits, I watched Don Jon on my kindle in a sold out amtrak train back from Boston)

"Hey Asshole, How many movies you gonna pretend to understand here?"

Her and Don Jon are two different minds on the same subject with the same object of affection. Barbara is a flesh and blood high-rated conquest. Look at the adjectives I use to describe Ms. Johansson above. It's all about image. In "Her", Samantha has no physical form. (An attempt to fix this problem was one of my favorite moments in the movie.) She is a personality, a caring, sweet, genius. Would I feel the love I did for this voice if it wasn't connected to this beautiful actress? I would hope so. I hope that I feel affection for this character because of her wonder, her adventurous spirit, her lust for life.

Am I feeling a true growth as a human being and like Theodore and Jon looking for genuine connection in my life?

Or, like an away message about a dead cat 15 years ago, was this whole post just about showing woman how sensitive I am?

Marvel vs. DC: Round 1: Pre 2008

Pre 2008 DC Films VS. Pre 2008 Marvel Films

VS

First of all, I am not counting anything before Superman: The Movie, which I consider the birth of the REAL comic book movie. Batman: The Movie has it's place but not on my blog.

Let's go over the movies up for discussion here: 

DC releases pre 2008: 
Superman (1978), Superman II (1980), Swamp Thing (1982), Superman III (1983), Supergirl (1984), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), The Return of Swamp Thing (1989), Batman (1989), Batman Returns (1992), Batman Forever (1995), Batman & Robin (1997), Steel (1997), Catwoman (2004), Batman Begins (2005), Superman Returns (2006)

Marvel releases pre 2008:
 Howard the Duck (1986), The Punisher (1989), Captain America (1990), Fantastic Four (1994), Men in Black (1997), Blade (1998), X-Men (2000), Blade II (2002), Spider-Man (2002), Men in Black II (2002),  Daredevil (2003), X2 (2003), Hulk (2003), The Punisher (2004), Spider-Man 2 (2004), Blade: Trinity (2004), Elektra (2005), Fantastic Four (2005), X-Men: The Last Stand (2006), Ghost Rider (2007), Spider-Man 3 (2007), Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)

THE GOOD:

This is the story of the Big Five.

Superman: The Movie is the foundation on which all the great comic movies have been built. With big stars in supporting roles (Marlon Brando, Gene Hackman and Ned Beatty), huge set pieces, glorious tellings of iconic back stories, and some out of this world special effects. (Christopher Reeve flying stands the test of time.) John William's music made us soar, Christopher Reeve was the perfect everyman and superman and Gene Hackman was so damn fun! Like all super hero movies it has it's flaws, (Earth spinning time travel, Margot Kidder.) but after Watergate, it made america believe again in truth, justice and the american way.


Batman 89 is one of my all time favorite comic book movies. Based on Alan Moore and Frank Miller's ground breaking work in the comics, Tim Burton created the Batman we know and love today. The Dark Knight, the brooding, man of the shadows. Gone was the 60s camp. The art decco set design, the mysterious Michael Keaton Bruce Wayne. Batman was hardly even a protagonist. We followed Kim Basinger's Vikki Vale and Jack Nicholson's Jack Naiper. Oh Jack's Joker. Ripped from the pages of The Killing Joke, this is still the bench mark super movie villain.  There was such joy in this psychopath, we saw a reason to the madness. Something necessary to all great Bat stories!

X-Men. The only movie on this list surpassed by it's sequel, its a great movie in its own right because of it's casting. Patrick Stewart HAD to be Professor X, and then you get Sir Ian McKellan to be Magneto? Hugh Jackman had just closed his run in Oklahoma. Today, he is the most dedicated superhero actor in the business. No matter the wolverine movie, you see him ALWAYS giving his all.  The story isn't the best, the special effect were low budget but the characters and themes were present. An allegory of issues facing our society, the X-Men movies as lead by Bryan Singer have been a revelation to the genre and to all long time x-fans.




Spider Man. While never my favorite character I am told this movie did wonders for long time spider fans. For me it was a perfect companion to Superman: The Movie. With a fun villain, iconic origin and strangely miscast girlfriend, it felt like we got to watch a man fly again. (please don't worry about where the web is connected)  Brought to us by fellow geek Sam Rami, Tobey Maguire was the perfect Peter Parker to William Dafoe's Norman Osborn. Everything swung into place and a new era of superhero blockbusters was born. Too bad Sony has all the rights. Oh yea...and Bonesaw.

Batman Begins. This changed the game. It was the hardest part of this particular head to head experiment not adding this to the head to head contest. But Iron Man and Dark Knight filled out the same exciting summer. Begins came out three years earlier. Still suffering from crap-lag after Batman & Robin, Warner Brothers made all the right choices. For director, they picked Christopher Nolan, known for a very indie, very edgy short list of films (Only the Following and Memento). They chose Christian Bale, an intense method actor with a devotion to his craft, to dawn the cowl. And for the supporting cast? Only Oscar Nominees would do. Morgan Freeman, Liam Neeson, Michael Caine and Gary Oldman (although not nominated till 2012 for Tinker Tailor). I even like Katie Holmes. They also changed the game with one big choice. This story wouldn't be about the villains. It would be about Batman.

By the way. Superman II, Batman Returns, X2 and Spiderman 2? Also solid flicks. I'm just running out of steam writing about this particularly long list of films.

Edge: DC, simple math.



THE BAD:

"I don't get it...why am I a controversial choice for Batman?"

DEAR LORD!!! LOOK HOW MANY BAD MOVIES!!!!!!!! Richard Pryor with Superman, Wesley Snipes, Shaq, Mr. Freeze, Halle Berry's Razzie winning performance as Catwoman, Ang Lee's Hulk, TWO awful Punisher movies (one with John Travolta), DAREDEVIL! As far as bad movies are concerned there are MANY faults with both comic giants here. Maybe Catwoman and Elektra balance each other out. Maybe we can forgive Richard Pryor, but I mean Joel Schumacher effectively shut down DC for eight years! Those early Marvel movies though? OH GOD! And the mid aughties nightmares of Hulk, Punisher, Daredevil and Fantastic Four? Really bad...really really really bad. So many BAD BAD BAD MOVIES. The post second sequels of the big four listed above maybe the worst things. I think about going into why Superman III, X-Men Last Stand, Spider-Man 3, Batman & Robin and Superman IV: Search for Peace are awful and it makes my soul hurt. If you want to hear more from me about these abominations, I am willing to hear your defense of these defecations in the comment sections. BUT, DC pulls out a win here with the best bad movie: Batman Forever; one of my guiltiest comic book pleasures. A killer soundtrack (SEAL!), a solid batman (Val Kilmer made me want to wear only turtlenecks and sportscoats) and the hottest Nicole Kidman looked in a movie ever, plus silly Jim Carrey and Tommy Lee Jones. It's so awesomely bad, it maybe pretty pretty pretty good.

Edge: DC, MY BRAIN IS ON THE BOX!


THE UGLY:

WHY DOES BEING POSSESSED BY AN ALEIN PARASITE MAKE YOU PUT ON MAKEUP?

Eye-Liner, Bat-Nipples, Mr. Freeze, Bat-Girl, Howard the Duck, Michael Chiklis,  Swamp Thing, Shaq's Acting, Hulk CGI, Bat-Puns, "What happens to a toad...", World Spinning Time Travel, Wesley Snipes without sunglasses and most of all OSWALD FUCKING COBBLEPOT! 

Edge: DC Comics...uglier...

WINNER: DC COMICS BY A BAT NIPPLE

It's two groundbreaking super hits (Batman and Superman) with amazing sequels beat Marvel's (Spider-Man and X-Men)and it's embarrassments, while on a larger scale (Batman & Robin) are at least watchable (Captain America, Howard the Duck, Fantastic Four (94 and 05)) The knockout blow comes in the form of Batman Begins, which changes the game for DC and introduces the Nolanverse.

Marvel, you lose to this.

Marvel vs DC : BATTLE ROYALE!

LET THE COMIC BOOK MOVIE BATTLE BEGIN

To begin we need to allow for one simple truth. I am allowed to compare marvel movies to dc movies. One of the first comics I ever read was Marvel vs. DC (or DC vs. Marvel), a horrible four part series that pitted Superman against the Hulk, Silver Surfer vs. Green Lantern, Aquaman vs Namor, Wolverine vs Lobo, Storm vs Wonder Woman and my personal favorite (and one I struggle with to this day) Batman vs Captain America. 

So in that vain I will posting a weekly series of straight one to one comparisons of movies that came out in the same years.  Grosses, rotten tomato scores and my personal opinion will factor heavily in each winner. Best of seven. Pre 2008 Marvel vs Pre 2008 DC, Dark Knight (2008) vs. Iron Man (2008), Iron Man 2 (2010) vs. Watchman (2010), Green Lantern (2011) vs. Thor (20011), Dark Knight Rises (2012) vs. The Avengers (2012) Man of Steel (2013) vs. Iron Man 3 (2013) and finally the future announced DC vs the future announce Marvel. The winner gets nothing, cause in all likelihood the head to head match ups won't matter and everyone will have to work together to thwart some greater evil brought about by Loki, the Joker, Lex Luthor and Jeff Bridges.

This is the Face of Evil.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!  This had better be full of controversy and in-fighting, vicious comments and outright trolling. I want a down and dirty fight and I lay down my personal opinion on which movie outright WINS. This is hollywood. There are winners (Heath Ledger's Joker, Scarlett Johansson in 3D and Robert Downey Jr.'s bank account) and losers (Ang Lee, Joel Schumacher and the entire populations of Gotham City, New York and Metropolis.) In the first part we will examine a load of HORRIBLE movies and five good ones. See you soon TRUE BELIEVERS!

Quick Hint! This guy is not in a good movie!

The Wolf of Wall Street - My Favorite Character? The Three Hour Length.

A lot is being said about the controversies surrounding The Wolf of Wall Street. It celebrates excess, its misogynistic, it turns ruined lives into entertainment. I'm here to tell you that this is a movie made for smarter people. Which may actually be very dangerous. I am going to pretend that I got it, although I am sure there is much more to this then I have even started to mine. Let me start by saying I hope you get it. This man is wrong. This man is evil. This man is not to be celebrated.

Jordan Belfort. This guy is an ASSHOLE! Get it?

Jordan Belfort (our Henry Hill, played by Leonard DiCaprio) is a Wall Street broker who starts his own firm and sells junk penny stocks (wait till you see a picture of the first company he panhandles for eight grand in a garage). Everything he does is illegal. '90 excess abounds. Steve Madden shoes are remembered as more then a discount item at DSL. Jordan and his right hand man Donnie Azoff, (played in true Joe Pesci style by Jonah Hill) a children's furniture salesmen from LI, get rich. They start a firm with a Lion as it's logo. Jordan gets written up in Forbes and suddenly they are rich. Very, very rich. Ludes and coke and crack and hookers and marching bands and human darts and mansions and yachts and helicopters, OH MY!  SO MUCH EXCESS! What makes us hate them when all they want to do is have fun?

THE GODDAMN LENGTH!

It's three hours long! Directed by Martin Scorsese and Written by Terrence Winter (writer on the "Sopranos" and creator of "Boardwalk Empire") this is Scorsese's longest movie. Never known for his short film times, he made a conscious decision to make this movie LONG. Three hours of these assholes doing asshole things (sexual assault at 5,000 feet is brought sickeningly to mind) gets tiring. Scorsese plays with the concepts of comedy. Jonah Hill and Leonardo DiCaprio are moving in slow motion, eating ham and tied up in a phone chord while talking like Dora speaking Whale and I wasn't laughing. I'd had enough. I couldn't take it anymore. I need this man to stop. A two hour movie wouldn't make me turn the way I did. It was too much excess, it was too much greed. He wasn't a 90's Gordon Gekko, he was addicted to WANTING MORE. Everyone wanted something, and they wanted more of it. Driven by money. I wanted this to stop.

Seriously. Stop.

This was also a movie about movies. Like Hugo before it, Scorsese can't seem to make a film without loving other films. With voice overs and characters reminiscent of his own "Goodfellas", the get the prettiest girl antics of his "Casino" and Kyle Chandler's FBI character's "Graduate" moment, Scorsese is always there to reward movie fans. I love that about him. (Although the soundtrack was glorious, no "Gimme Shelter" SPOILER!)

This was a movie for a smart audience. Will it make future ceos who want this life? You betcha. As the movie itself states "Any press is good press". Soon there will be young men banging down the doors to get a job slinging penny stocks. Getting rich will always be a sick, twisted racket. But look at what excess does. The american dream has been twisted to a drug addled, armani wearing rape culture. Will this movie change things? Hell no! This movie may do more harm then good. For me though? It made me want to go home and write about it. That counts for something.

See more movies and you will get more jokes: A Manifesto.

"See more movies and you will get more jokes."

Tom Trevenen, Sophomore English, Masconomet Regional High School

Home for christmas this year I was driving to see Saving Mr. Banks with my family and discussing with my dad my lack of a creative outlet. He told me he reads the imdb message boards and that after all of my facebook posts about every movie I see I should just write a blog. My sister writes for Disney Diva (Diva Viva) and I think its time I made my own. About Movies.

3D Glasses and a full Captain America Costume. Judge away.

I work a high pressure 50 hour a week job. I get two days off, usually wednesdays and thursdays. I always see a movie. Always. I love film. I love popcorn, my amc stubs card and the lincoln square cinema on 68th street. (Especially if my ticket says my movie is in the lowes theatre, new yorkers know what I am talking about! Choosing between mezzanine and orchestra seating is sometimes more exciting than the movie.) The summer of '98 when the first AFI top 100 list came out I was allowed to watch as much TV as I wanted as long as it was a movie from the list. I went to blockbuster once a week and grabbed as many as I could find. I was 13. Everything changed. Citzen Kane seemed long winded, Gone with the Wind felt like a chore but The Godfather shook me to the core. I was going to be a cinefile.

Look at me. All shook to the core.

Senior year my high school gave everyone the last quarter off to create and perform an internship. Most kids worked at their parents offices or built a bridge over in a park or studied quantum physics. My proposal was to watch movies. I was instantly sent to the review board. I walked into a room that included the head of the english department, my guidance councilor and the principal of a 1,800 student regional school district. I had to defend my project and some how convince these terrifying authority figures that watching movies was an academic pursuit. The plan was simple, my two friends and I, over 5 weeks would watch and review as follows: Monday, one of the AFI top 5. Tuesday, one of the best picture winners of the last half decade. Wednesday, one of the top 5 box office grossers of all time. Thursday, one of the Razzie winners for worst picture of the last half decade and Friday was new movie day. The whole thing would be typed up and posted online. I blew them away. I talked about Ty Burr and Roger Ebert. I talked about the importance of film in our society. I laid out the careers available in film critique and threw down my copy of "1000 movies to see before you die". We got our internship. In one week we would watch Schindler's List, Shakespeare in Love, Star Wars, Battlefield Earth and Van Helsing.  We met every morning at 10 and fired up my buddies 50 inch screen. We wrote pages and pages of reviews, we yelled at scarlet o'hara and turned off battleship earth for fear of brain damage. We got an A+ and were the talk of the intership fair. We had beat the system, we were counter culture heroes, we were golden gods of the high school war between the bourgeois establishment and the lowly plebeian students.  I maybe glorifying this memory a little.

My High School Principal, I think...

That project is lost in time somewhere, everything probably erased from some long forgotten windows 98 with a pentium one. But ten years later, I am back. I want to write about movies again. Not for a grade. For my Dad, so he stops reading the imdb message boards. For Louis, so I can finally put into words why I make mine Marvel and not Nolan. For Jordan, whose True Blood episode blog was one of my favorite things. For Noah, who still floors me with the absolute obscurity of his yearly top 10 list. For Andy, the man I share my stubs account with, who told me "Do it, cause your facebook status' about movies clutters up my newsfeed." For Jeff and James who watched a lot of movies with me 10 years ago. For Ashley who is currently going to school for this and makes me jealous with every paper she "HAS" to write. Also, for me. Cause I want to talk about movies. I want to talk about Movies A LOT! So read on, enjoy, and most of all TALK BACK!